Mamas*Little*Treasures

Another Monday Monster

I'm pretty sure that YOU all have a perfectly clean and organized kitchen. And more than likely, your refrigerator is sparkly clean, smelling sweet, and thoroughly disinfected. No leftovers, nothing lurking in the back corner turning green, and certainly no long-forgotten yogurt that is growing fuzzy stuff. I'm happy for you! I'm also convinced that if I was the only person who ever opened the refrigerator door to take things out and put things back in, that ours might be a bit less chaotic. But with kids and a hubby who look at you like you just spoke to them in Swahili if you ask them to replace the lid on the catsup bottle, it is quite probable that "stuff" will be inserted in to any empty spot in the refrigerator that is currently available. That's how to grow a monster in your refrigerator!

After two weekends of having lots of fun activities planned for our family, leaving very little time for such mundane tasks as cleaning up the kitchen and putting things into the fridge in an orderly fashion, things had really gotten out of control around here. We had made a huge salad for a company picnic that was really good the day we made it. It was even still pretty good the next day or two. But then someone shoved a dish of leftover pork chops in front of the salad and it landed in a corner in the back. Where it sat for about a week before anyone ventured that far into the fridge to see what was the mysterious "stuff" in that dish.

Then there are all of the bottles of salad dressing. WHY do we have three half-empty bottles of Ranch dressing? We have bottles and jars of all kinds of sauces, dressings, vinegar, pickles, parmesan cheese, jellies and jams, condiments, and salsa. The problem is that when these jars and bottles get pushed to the back of the fridge by a more recent resident of our fridge, we can't see what's back there so we go out and buy MORE sauces, dressings, vinegar, pickles, and parmesan cheese . . . . and mayonaise, and cocktail sauce, and steak sauce, and picked beets, and catsup. So, today we finally decided it was time to tackle this refrigerator monster!

The girls hauled all of the stuff out of the fridge and put it on the counter. Then we started a sink full of hot, soapy water and I gave them each a clean dishcloth to start scrubbing. I washed out the drawers while they washed down the shelves in the fridge as well as the doors. I was amazed! They were actually having fun  ;o)  That's when we were able to have our little "mommy / daughter discussion" about how much better we all feel and how much more time we have to do all the fun stuff in life if we aren't wasting so much time trying to find stuff in our fridge. And how much money we will save if we aren't buying more of something that we already have, simply because we can't find it in that disgusting refrigerator.

They were having so much fun that they actually took all of the fridge magnets off the outside of the fridge, along with all of the coupons, notices, coloring pages, Sunday School papers, and last month's lunch menu, and washed the doors before replacing the magnets and a few of the more recent items of interest. Today we will have the rest of the leftover Chicken Pecan salad that we made yesterday for Father's Day lunch . . . . before it sneaks in the back and hides for a week or two. We also have a jug of lemonade that is right there on the top shelf, and we even put the bread in the fridge to keep it fresh a bit longer during these humid summer days. Bagels and muffins, fresh fruit and veggies, yogurt and cheese - now that we can find it, we just might have something else for lunch besides PB & J! How's your fridge looking today? Trust me, it is truly liberating to know that there is nothing growing inside your fridge, that might turn into a monster and eat YOU! Have a great Monday  ;o) 

Curiosity 101: She might grow up to be a scientist

Does it ever surprise you when your children ask questions?  I've been doing this "motherhood" thing a pretty long time, and I'm rarely surprised but often I am amused and intrigued by the questions my children come up with.  So when I walked into the bathroom last night to brush my teeth (after working on the computer for about a half an hour while the girls were supposed to be getting their jammies on and their teeth brushed), I discovered that there had been some very interesting activity going on right there in front of the bathroom sink. 

"So . . . . . what's this white stuff all over the mirror in the bathroom?" I asked our Miss Curiosity.  "What do you mean, mom?" she asked, looking completely clueless as to what I might be referring to.  "Here, Honey, take a look.  See all that white stuff all over the bathroom mirror?" I asked.  "Do you know what it is?"  "Oh, sure!  That's the same stuff that is all over the counter, and in the sink, and on the carpeting."  OK, now I'm pretty sure that she figures that is an answer. 

"Oh, well . . . . but what is it?" I ask, trying to see if she is just dodging the question.  But she isn't.  She is completely serious.  "Mom . . . " she says as if it should be perfectly obvious and logical.  "After I took my bath, I wanted to see what would happen if I put some of that pretty pink powder in my hand and then went "POOF" and blew on it."  OK, now I see.  "So what happened?" I asked, still trying to figure out how it got smeared all over the mirror over the sink as well as all over both mirrors by the bathtub.  "Did it just like float around in the air, or what did you do to it to get it to stick to the mirror like that?"  I really tried not to laugh. 

"Well, when it was all over I thought it would be fun to see what would happen if I mixed it with water."  And?  "It was so great!  I swooshed it around on the mirror and it made a cool design!"  But this was only the most recent adventure for Miss Curiosity.  At Christmas time she found the food coloring and wondered what it would do if she put some on her hands.  So she had red stains on her hands for a few days. 

She also told me that one day she wondered what would happen if she ate one of the pretty little Rolaids in the bottle WAY UP on top of the medicine cabinet.  "So what happened?" I asked.  "Nothing," she said, apparently rather disappointed.  "But would I die if I ate all of them?" she wondered.  "Gee, I don't know," I replied.  "I've never tried it, and I've never heard of anyone else trying it."  Hmmmmm. . . . . but please don't try it, I thought. 

And then there are the questions that seemingly come out of nowhere.  Usually right when I'm in the middle of doing something that requires a few of my remaining brain cells.  "Mom, what is blood made of?" she asked one day.  Um, it's been a while since I studied biology so I can't remember.  "What is catchup made of?" came pretty quickly after the blood question, so I'm guessing she had been trying to figure out how sometimes people get hurt on the TV, and there is "blood" but we know it isn't "real blood."  Maybe it's catchup?  Well, I do happen to know a bit more about catchup than blood, so I told her about tomatoes and stuff. 

Another time it was, "Mom, what's inside your eyeballs?"  Beats me!  "How do you make slime?"  SLIME!!!  Now how would I know how to make slime?  "What is skin made of?" and "How do bones get inside your body?"  Good opportunity to talk about how God makes every one unique and special . . . . but still, I'm not a dr. or a scientist or a biologist, or a medical examiner. 

"What would happen if I ate this worm?" and "How does food go down your throat?" and then the most recent one (just before the talcum powder experiment) "Mom, can bugs get into your brain?"  Now WHY would a nine year old ask about bugs in your brain?  Maybe she's been watching Animal Planet too much.  After all, the other day there was a program about how chameleons turn red when they get mad.  I really don't know where some of these questions come from, but I'm sure all of this curiosity will eventually lead her somewhere.  And I just hope she survives.  I've always had this theory and I've told my older children:  "I don't want to know about it until you've lived through it."  Then we'll talk. 

The Joys and Challenges of a Work-at-Home-Mom

Every where you look there are ads for the most miraculous opportunities to make money by working from home.  And the testimonials are so convincing:  "I quit my day job, and in just 30 days I've replaced my income AND my husband's income."  Amazing!  So now they are both working from home, and I sincerely hope that it is working out for that family.  Especially at this time when our economy still seems to be pretty lethargic, and finding a JOB is an elusive quest for so many. 

Besides, I'm not sure how it would work out for both the husband AND the wife to work from home.  I don't know. . . . I would love to spend my days in the presence of my Sweet Hubby, but I think there's the whole issue of "male" and "female" brain function, and we just might not quite see eye-to-eye on a daily schedule.  But if it works for some folks, I think that is great!  What I wonder about, however, is how honest and reputable some of these companies are that are encouraging unemployed people to part with their grocery money for the week for the "opportunity" to work at home. 

Do any of them really work?  Or is it just one of those "trickle up" theories where, if you send ME money, I'll tell you how to advertise to get other people to give YOU money, so you can tell them how to advertise to get more people to send THEM money.  And there is never any REAL work, just more of the same thing over and over.  The idea of working from home, and making a real income, is so appealing to women with children.  Many moms really want to be at home if their child is sick and needs to be taken to the dr.   Lots of us love to be at home either so we can homeschool our children, or to be at home when our children come home from school.  We love to cook, and sew, and sometimes clean the house, and do the laundry, and even sweep the floors once in a while.  Well, not that we actually enjoy doing all of those things, but most of us like to have them done.  And there is no one else to do those chores in most of our homes. 

Many of us moms are doing our best to keep up with all of that, and keep up with the kids, and talk to our husband when we can get a word in around the babbling of children.  Some of us want to be able to volunteer at our children's school, or work in our church, or participate in community activities.  And all of THAT makes us look for ways to generate income and still be able to have the flexibility to do the other things in life that are important to us.  When I held a job away from home, I simply could not do most of the other things in life that I believe are significant in the life of my family.  I would come home at night so tired I barely had the energy to fix supper and feed my kids before collapsing for the night.  But what about their homework, and reading with the girls, and folding the laundry (oops!  I forgot to wash the laundry before I left for work in the morning!) or pay the bills, or wash the dishes.  Now, I know that there are millions of women who do this every day for years and years.  And I am impressed.  Seriously. Because I couldn't do it without completely giving up on the possibility of ever having any part of my life that wasn't totally out of control.  And I've already admitted that I'm a "control freak," and for me that means that I don't cope well over long periods of time when the laundry is piled high, dirty dishes are oozing out of the kitchen sink, and there is this annoying crunching sound every time I walk through the living room.  But that's just me. 

And it is NOT because I'm getting old!  ;o)   I was just like this when I was 32 and had four kids running around the house.  I just needed to be at HOME!  So, now I am at home, and I'm trying to work and actually make some money from my writing and design projects.  Most days that goes quite well.  But we are now on our third snow day, with no school, and my girls have just about exhausted all of our bright ideas for creative projects.  The joys of being a work-at-home-mom are such a gift!  I love being able to be here when they do have a day off of school, and we can cuddle while we watch a movie together.  We've been working on Valentine's Day cards, making muffins, sewing a sweet little apron and totebag, and creating decorated mail boxes for our newest adventure:  The Mail Box Club.   In our private little club, The MBC, we each write little notes to each other all day long and drop them in the appropriate mail box in the kitchen.  Then, at bedtime, we get to open our mail box and read the sweet notes that we've written to one another. 

Today we are playing house, and the furniture has been rearranged and all of the dolls and stuffed animals are out and about.  While I was brushing my teeth, I was informed that I was the Grandma (of course!), and before I could object I heard:  "Hey Grandma!  Can you babysit?  Here's the baby and the pup!"  And there beside me in the bathroom was the stroller with the baby and the pup.  That's what you get for being a Grandma.  Great fun!  But the challenging part of all of this wondrous, joyous family togetherness is that I'm buried in messes!  One right on top of another, because there are two of them and only one of me.  They do pretty good at cleaning up after themselves when I remind them . . . .  . but unfortunately mamas sometimes need to do other things, like take a shower or answer the phone, and then WHAM!!!   A fifteen minute phone call turns into a mountain of creative left-overs. 

All in all, it is wonderful being able to work at home.  But it is not all it's cracked up to be in those advertisements that make it sound like you'll be able to leisurely check your computer when you wake up at 10:00 a.m. and with a cup of freshly brewed steaming hot coffee in hand, you will suddenly discover that you made at least $1,000 while you were sleeping.  Working at home definitely has its positives . . . . but being able to comb your hair and find your underwear isn't always one of the perks.  Just something to think about. 

Yes, Little Bear, Good Mama Bears Really Do Get Angry (SHHHH! Don't tell!)

I know that it must be hard to believe.  But Good Mama Bears get tired . . . . and sad . . . . and hungry.  I'll tell you a secret, but you must never tell anyone:  Good Mama Bears even get angry sometimes.  But no one is supposed to know that, because after all, Good Mama Bears are NEVER supposed to get angry.  So when they do, we must all just keep smiling and pretend that it really is just fine with Good Mama Bear that Big Brother Bear is STILL shooting hoops in the middle of the living room, even though she has asked him at least 100 times to be a bit more respectful of their cozy little Bear Home. 

"Oh, no problem, my sweet Big Brother Bear," croons Good Mama Bear as she swoops down and gathers up all of the empty pop cans, dirty dishes, and leftover chips and salsa that are scattered around the house from the last time Big Brother Bear and all his Bear Buddies came over to shoot those hoops.  But Good Mama Bear would NEVER get angry (we'll just keep pretending so no one else knows, OK?)  But just remember if you ever grow up to be a Good Mama Bear, that even when you FEEL tired, or sad, or angry, you must never, never let it show. After all, that might make all of the other Precious Little Bears, Medium Size Bears, Big Boy and Girl Bears, and especially Wonderful Daddy Bear uncomfortable. 

This Good Mama Bear was chatting the other day with another Very Weary Good Mama Bear about life, and children, and searching for the soul of Perfect Mama Bear.  Very Weary Good Mama Bear was on the verge of tears as she wondered what in the world she was going to do with her life when her five Baby Bears were all grown up and gone.  I mean, would she still be able to have a conversation with another adult, or even her husband, if she wasn't interrupted 47 times in every sentence?  She wasn't sure she could handle that. 

So we talked for a few minutes, until we were interrupted by Littlest Bear who had decided that it really wasn't fair that these two Mama Bears were talking for SOOOOO long, and that Littlest Bear was getting bored.  Until Littlest Bear decided that she would get busy and play with the other Little Bears who were there with her . . . . and of course, THAT was certainly OK for the Little Bears to chat, and laugh, and giggle, and run around screaming for as long as they wanted to.  But Very Weary Mama Bear must never, never inconvenience her Littlest Bear.  Naughty Mama Bear!

Well, then when Very Weary Mama Bear came very close to saying IT . . . she almost said the word . . . . . she almost admitted that she was struggling with a little bit, just the teeniest, tiniest little bit of anger disappointment that she couldn't quite manage to take her Medium-Size Princess Bear to her cheerleading competition which was 150 miles away (driving through a snow storm), AND take Littlest Bear to a birthday party, AND pick up Big Brother Bear from basketball practice, AND help Medium-Size Prince Bear with his science fair project.  All on the same evening. Well, of course she should have been able to do all of that all by herself. 

They all think she is Wonder Woman Bear - but I did notice a few spots on her blue cape that were becoming rather threadbare (no pun intended) and kind of raggedy and tattered around the edges.  Just like Very Weary Mama Bear was beginning to show a bit of "bearness" (as in just being an ordinary bear, not really Wonder Woman Bear).

So, my precious Little Bear, please be patient when YOUR Good Mama Bear occasionally disappoints you.  She really is trying to be perfect, but she probably will fail.  Because after all she is JUST a Good Mama Bear.  As hard as she tries, she will never be The Perfect Mama Bear, but trust me, she really would like to be.  But she is worn out.  Don't tell her that, though, because she won't believe you until one day that tattered and torn, old blue cape no longer holds her aloft on the winds of expectations.  But chances are you will never know that her knees and elbows are bloody from the fall, and you will definitely never know that her heart is broken.  Just keep pretending, and everyone in Bearville will be able to carry on as if they are all happy.  Because if anyone in Bearville is NOT happy, we will definitely know who to blame.  Good night, Little Bear.  Sweet dreams! 

Your loving Good Mama Bear

PS I can't find Very Weary Good Mama Bear today . . . . and I'm pretty sure she can't find herself either.  Be patient.  I hope she comes back someday. 

Confessions of a Crazy Housewife

OK I'll admit it.  I'm a control freak.  There, I've said it.  And I meant it.  And I'm really weary of trying to defend myself for not being a messy housekeeper.  What is it about being "too tidy" that deserves all this guilt???  One day I had a neighbor knock on my door, and when I opened the door, he took one peek over my shoulder and said, "Oh!  I could never come in to to visit you . . . . your house is too clean!"  And then he laughed.  But I wondered, how would it work if I said to you that I couldn't come into your house because it was too dirty?  We would never say that to someone, but for some reason it seemed perfectly normal to tell me that my house was too clean.  Does that make me a crazy housewife? 

Last time I checked, most of those ladies magazines you see while waiting in the check-out lane at the grocery store still have articles with titles like, "How to Clean Your Whole House in 20 Minutes," or "27 Ways to Keep Your Bathroom Smelling Fresh as a Daisy."  Did I miss something?  Perhaps I just haven't seen the magazines with articles that help us all figure out "How to Completely Trash Your House in a Half-Hour," or "99 Ideas for Shoveling More Junk into Your Garage."  We all know how to do THAT!  Houses just seem to take on a life of their own, and messes pop up overnight while we are sleeping.  Especially if we have kids.  So, "messy" is the normal,  natural condition of most houses, apartments, condominiums, cottages, cabins, and tents.  No matter where you live, or who you are.  And for those who are comfortable with a lot of clutter (think of those TV shows about people who are hoarders of "stuff"), or even feel safer surrounded by tons of worthless junk . . . I'm good with that. 

But I really don't see why I should be considered rather strange because I DON'T like to live like that.  As if I am somehow denying someone their God-given right to be sloppy.  So, I kind of feel better when the trash is taken out, the dishes are clean, the laundry is washed, the floors are swept, and the beds are made.  And if that makes me a "control freak," then I guess if that's my worst fault, can't be all bad.  But what, really, is a "control freak"?  I truly have absolutely no interest in being in charge of anyone else's life.  I've got enough to deal with in my own life, and can just barely manage to control all of the things in my life that I am responsible to control.  So is "control" a bad thing? 

Again, take a peek at some of the self-help books that reach out and grab you as you walk by.  "Boundaries:  How to say No Without Feeling Guilty."  "Monster Lies:  A Woman's Guide to Controlling Her Destiny."  "Inner Peace for Busy Women:  Balancing Work, Family, and Your Inner Life."  Or how about, "Your Truest Self: Embracing the Woman You Are Meant to Be."  Sounds to me like there are one or two women out there who wish they had a bit MORE control in their lives. 

There's a big difference between a healthy desire to have our own lives and surroundings under control and running around like a busy-body telling everyone else how to live.  Of course, there are never any guarantees.  Life happens, most unexpectedly, in the blink of an eye.  Without any warning, tragedy can strike.  But that is very different from those things in life that can legitimately be "under control."  I've always thought that it might be a good idea to control the things that CAN be controlled, so that when something comes along and smacks me upside the head that is completely out of my control, I will be better able to cope with it.  I could be wrong about that, though. 

But here's an example of what I mean:  I can't control what might happen if I drive innocently through a green light and a crazy driver runs a red light and broadsides my car.  But I CAN control whether or not I have insurance on my car.  That might or might not help me.  But at least I tried.  Just like I can't control it if I get a call from school that my 1st grader is suddenly screaming in pain and curled up in a fetal position on the floor of the principal's office.  But I CAN control whether or not I have gas in the car so that I can fly out the door, jump in the car, and get to the school in three minutes instead of 20 minutes because I had to stop for gas.  Simple things like that. 

Which gets me back to being a "control freak."  I'm not responsible for keeping my house tidy and orderly because someone might stop by and think . . . . what?  They might think I'm a "neat freak"?  I no longer care about THAT!  But the reason I am responsible to take care of my home (no matter what the neighbors or anyone else thinks) is because it is the home that God has provided for our family and I care for our possessions with respect.  Just because.  And also I feel some level of responsibility to care for our home and keep things tidy and orderly is so that no one dies.  Let me explain.  If you walk into my house and trip over a roller skate or slip on a banana peel, you might sue me.  And even if you don't, you could get hurt and since you are probably someone that I like, I would want to see you in pain. 

In addition, one thing that I HATE just about more than anything else in life is wasting time.  Do you know how much time the average family wastes just looking for stuff?  Or how much money does the average family spend on purchasing stuff that they already have but just can't find in the chaos of their home?  I don't know, either, but if I was a betting person, I'd bet that it's a LOT!  And the final reason that I try to keep my house "under control" (and frequently fail, but I do give a my best shot), is that it keeps me sane.  Really?  Wonder whose idea that was.  Well, crazy or not, at least I'm not a "desperate" housewife, just a rather neurotic "neat freak" who believes that children and husbands' really are healthier and happier when there aren't bugs in their beds and critters in their corn flakes.  Call me crazy.  I'm used to it.

Memories of Christmas Past (I just LOVE January 1st!)

It is always so exciting to anticipate Christmas!  All of the festivities, the lights, the decorations, the presents, the sewing projects, the traditional family recipes . . . . but by January 1st, I am SOOO ready to get my life back to "normal."  Whatever that might be any given year. There is just something so therapeutic   about putting all of that clutter and chaos in order, throwing out all the trash that accumulates, sorting through last year's clothing and toys for the girls and tidying up their dresser drawers and closet with ONLY the stuff that    1.) fits them,   2.) they will wear,   3.) is the right season,   4.) and isn't all tattered and torn. 

Which is quite a trick with Our Drama Diva.  She would wear the jeans with the most tears, holes, tatters, and paint spatters that she can find.  And looks at me in complete wonderment when I suggest that THOSE particular jeans might not be the best choice for going to visit Grandma.  What?  Grandma loves me doesn't she, even if I wear tattered jeans?  Well, of course she does .. . . but still I think it would make Grandma happy to see the pretty skirt that you got for Christmas.  Totally clueless!  Or maybe I'm the one who is clueless    ;o)   So she reluctantly takes off the tattered jeans and puts on the skirt for just as long as she needs to, and then whips out those ratty ol' jeans as soon as she gets home.  If I am going to try to replace those little gems (but ONLY when they no longer fit, definitely NOT because I think they are too raggedy!), I have to give her 100 reasons why the NEXT pair of jeans will become just as tattered as the old ones, given enough time. 

And then there is Our Little Lady of Constant Stubbornness . .. . . who LOVES to wear dresses.  And her "high heel" sandals (which have a tiny heel of about 3/4" but to her, those are "high heels").  In the dead of winter, in the middle of a snowstorm, without socks.  Last Sunday she insisted on wearing a lovely little ivory dress with white flowers  embroidered on the sheer overskirt.  It is sleeveless, has a dainty little sash that ties in the back, and it buttons down the back.  She found it herself one day when we were out on one of our thrift shop expeditions.  She loves that dress almost as much as she loves her high heels!  But that's what you wear to Sunday School in the middle of July!   Should we carefully choose our parent / child battles around this kind of thing?  Well, right or wrong, we compromised . . . . . a pretty little ivory-colored sweater with pearl buttons and a hoodie took care of the whole sleeveless problem, and ivory-colored tights took care of the high heel sandals.  She survived, and was delightful all through church.  Well, most of the time! 

All of that is to say that it is rather difficult to sort through the clothing that is outgrown, wrong season, worn out, and in general ratty old stuff that needs to GO!  But that is one of my favorite things about January!  A few other projects on my January "To Do" list:  clean the kitchen cupboards, paint the girls' bedroom and the living room, reorganize my sewing studio, and work on my new eBooks.  Along with keeping my little online shops stocked and creating new vintage refashioned treasures, that should keep me busy most of January!  Then we are planning on going roller skating again very soon, Gracie wants to join Girl Scouts, and Annie is interested in music lessons. ... . and we might even find time to get away for a week-end on a mini-vacation.  Probably just to a local motel with a pool, see a movie, and go out for pizza, but that's a pretty special outing for our family.  I am definitely looking forward to January, and those are just a few of the reasons why I absolutely LOVE January 1st! 

 

 

 

 

It's a "Martha" kind of day here in Mamaville

"Martha was busy for Jesus, and that left her too busy to be with Jesus."

~  John Walker,   Growing with Purpose: Connecting with God Every Day 

 

This story has always been so intriguing to me . . . . and it makes so much sense, when you think about how we can and should have our relationship with the Lord as our primary focus.  I have often thought about this while running around like a beheaded chicken, trying to make sure that the laundry is finished, the house isn't totally trashed, the kids get to school on time (or even earlier in my life, making sure that the babies are fed, bathed, clothed, rocked, cuddled, played with, and safely sleeping in their crib with clean sheets and a dry diaper) -  and paying the bills, cooking supper, helping out at school, teaching Sunday School class, leading a women's Bible study, teaching my children manners and responsibility, car pooling the kids to lessons and athletic practice, occasionally taking a shower and putting on clean clothes, dropping off the dry-cleaning, doing the banking, taking kids to the dentist, doctor, orthodontist, or for a hair cut.  OK, I guess that's enough reminiscing, it's making me tired.

But, maybe that's the reason I definitely have ambivalent feelings about this story.  And perhaps I should not even go there today, but I'll try to do so with as much gentleness and honesty as I can possibly gather up, in my current state of exhaustion.  Of course, this is a wonderful story and an excellent example of how we should all try to remember and practice the MOST important aspect of our life:  our relationship with God.  However, (I speak with great fear and trepidation . . . . ) I've been a Christian, a mom, a wife, a mother, a WOMAN long enough to know, that . . .. . well, here goes . .. . taking care of others and meeting their needs is one of the tasks in life that we, as women, do very well.  And in many homes, we have chosen to devote our life to those tasks that do, in fact, take a great deal of time, energy, and focus.  So, that is why, I believe, that this is such a difficult thing for us to implement in our lives.  Not because we don't want to . . . . but I've frequently been torn between dealing with a sick, crying child at 3:00 a.m. and then also having enough time and energy to devote to quietly listening to the voice of God in the silence of my little corner of the world.  Because it is rarely silent. 

I guess what I'm saying is that this is definitely a worthy goal for our lives as women.  But I also notice that it is usually a man who makes this observation and suggests that we, as women, ought to figure out how to do it.   And I also am very well aware of how we wrestle with guilt when we can't "do it all."  Including all of the above-mentioned responsibilities, and more, and STILL be able to sit at the feet of Jesus.  I'm still trying, believe me, but I believe that the tasks that God has given me, in caring for my family, IS being with Jesus.  Even though it is seldom quiet.  He is there, even in the midst of the crazyness that is "Life as a Mother."  I'm trying to be like Mary, but most days I need to be encouraged in my "Martha" job that God has given me.  After all, someone has to take care of all that stuff!

Since I"ve been doing this for a pretty long time, I've finally reached a place of peace with this whole issue.  When I am living in obedience to God, I'm sure that He will provide the time I need to be WITH Him, even while I am living out my daily calling as a wife and mother.  It's not about guilt.  I believe it is about valuing that relationship with the Lord, even if mine sometimes looks a bit more like Martha than Mary.  But I'll keep working on it, and one day, when the babies are all grown-up and there is silence in my home, I know I will then have all the time I need to be with Jesus . . .. not just flying from one activity to another, taking care of those pesky little responsibilities that He gave me called "children," while mumbling my morning prayers behind the steering wheel of my car on the way to the post office . . . . . to pay the bills. 

 

Please visit Debbie at Heart Choices to find the links to the rest of this week's IOW participants, and please join us by sharing your thoughts on this intriguing quote. 

 

 

Just an old-fashioned girl OR ideas for a simple holiday season

Even when everyone else seems to be seeking the newest, the latest, the most technologically advanced gifts to give or to buy for themselves, I have just always loved the look of romantic, feminine, even "old-fashioned" clothing.  Perhaps that is why I love vintage stuff so much! 

Here's an idea that might help minimize the stress of the holidays for you . .. .  think back to what you know from your own life or people, places, and times past that you have read about.  Think about the ways that people celebrated the holidays during the early days of our country.  Or read about holiday celebrations during the Great Depression.  Or even learn about how families celebrated the holidays during the 1940s and World War II.  Or any other period of time when life might have been a bit less obsessed with qualtity of stuff = happiness.

At our house, we love to read the Little House book series.  And of course, so many of us have watched that series on TV.  But I am always struck by the simplicity of many aspects of their lives.  Of course, Pa always had to go out hunting and hope to bring home some venison during the Long Winter.  And Ma always had to bake the bread and salt the pork, and hang the squash and onions from the attic rafters.  I'm not suggesting that this life was EASY!  But when we read about Laura and Mary, and little Carrie playing with their corn-cob dolls and being thrilled to get a stick of peppermint candy and an orange in the Christmas stocking . ... . . well, it just makes me wonder how we got to be so focused on material possessions that we sometimes miss the really important stuff in life. 

So - if you are struggling with anxiety over how you will ever provide a "nice" Christmas for your family this year . . . . remember that the holidays can be enjoyed with a little bit less "stuff," and our children can learn to appreciate even the small wonders and treasures of the holidays.  They'll live through it, and they will probably even remember these days as some of the happiest they can remember, because we were more focused on each other than on the frantic, crazy, chaotic frenzy of holiday shopping. 

It is OK to slow down, enjoy today, bake cookies and string popcorn for your Christmas tree, make a few hand-crafted holiday cards to send to your loved ones who are far away, or an handmade book mark for Grandma . . . . . maybe even take a break from the baking to make a sweet little holiday apron for you, your kids, your mom, your grandma, whoever! 

Later this week I will be posting a FREE tutorial for making a simple holiday table runner that you can whip up in an afternoon to dress up your table in holiday style!  So many fun things to do, let's not wear ourselves out stressing about things we can't change, and let's enjoy the holiday season (even if we don't have all the STUFF that we want!).  You'll be glad you did   ;o)  

PS Here are a couple new listings of classic and vintage items in my Etsy shop, Gossamer Wings Studio.  In keeping with the spirit of an old-fashioned, simple Christmas this year, I'm buying vintage whenever I can, and regifting or recycling other items.  Really . . . . who needs MORE stuff????  So if you are interested in dressing up for the holidays, on a budget, and if you love old-fashioned, vintage clothing, please visit my shop!  Have a wonderful Cyber Monday!  Just be careful to keep it simple, silly   ;o) 

 

My philosophy of "Old Stuff"

I've always known (kind of) about the Chinese culture, which holds great reverence for their ancestors and elderly relatives.  So much so, that sons of Chinese families, traditionally, care for their aging parents, while daughters typically marry into another family and help care for the aging parents of their husbands.  With this tradition in mind, I think often of my own daughters and what their lives would be like if they had remained in China.  I am not suggesting that this Chinese tradition is not as good as our American traditions . . . . far from it!  If our elderly relatives were treated with the same level of respect as is shown to the "senior citizens" of China, well we just might be having a different kind of discussion about health care, nursing homes, and the "sandwich generation." 

So there is definitely something to be said in favor of the social and cultural value that is placed on older people in China.  Of course the other side of that observation is that, when this tradition is followed closely, it severely limits options for the women of that country.  On the other hand, sometimes all of the "opportunities" that are available to American young people are not always safe, healthy, or wise.  But that is another discussion . . . . . all of this got me to thinking (again) about how we, as Americans, have for so long been pursuing the dream of having it all. 

And the problems that it has created for people who have been fortunate to have ALMOST all (of whatever they are seeking), and now are faced with the reality of a struggling economy.  Many of us simply can no longer spend our Saturday afternoons wandering around in a huge mall, with cheery music tempting us to feel all warm and fuzzy as we rack up those $$$$ on our charge cards.  We can always pay it off later!  Unfortunately, "later" has caught up with us, and it is not much fun for many Americans. 

My girls will often ask me, "Mom, did you have M&Ms when you were a kid?" or "Was there TV around when you were a kid?" or other equally wise observations from their perspective.  And I will tell them the truth . . . . . yep, those things "were around" but I didn't have nearly as much of it as they do.  And I lived to tell about it!  For some people, that overwhelming desire to have more stuff, new stuff, expensive stuff, and beautiful stuff becomes almost like a noose around the neck.  It becomes all-consuming, to the point of destroying marriages and forcing people into bankruptcy. 

Now, all of us have faced financial struggles at some point in our lives . . . . . and some end up needing to file bankruptcy for very legitimate reasons.  That is not the point of this thought process.  It is about the mindless consumption of material goods that has become such an accepted part of the "American Dream."  So, when I chatted with one of my older daughters about how difficult it is to keep going when there is just never enough money to go around, we came to the conclusion that there are millions of people right now who are actually in more difficult circumstances than we are encountering, and that there are also millions of Americans who lived through the Great Depression . . . . . and they survived.  Not only did they survive, many became stronger, more independent, more resourceful, and more joyful directly in proportion to their determination to be thankful for what they had.  No matter how simple, they learned to appreciate the little things in life. 

So, when one of our nieces posted a comment on my FB page about my ability to take "old stuff" and make it into something kind of cool (or something like that!), it reminded me of a conversation I had with my mother-in-law over 30 years ago.  Even back then, she made the observation that I "could make a beautiful home out of just about nothing."  My philosophy all of my life has been, a coat of paint doesn't cost much and it will make a whole room feel brand-new!  As I carry that philosophy of "old stuff" over into my daily life, I am continually confronted with the ways in which we so often just "throw away" things that are no longer brand-new (well, actually some of it IS brand-new, as evidenced by the number of gorgeous items I find in thrift shops that still have the tags attached!) - but we've grown tired of it, or it is no longer the "latest fashion." 

And that attitude carries over into our lives as we encounter people . . . . those who are older, or a bit slower, or perhaps can't "snap it up" to our level of expectation.  I see it frequently when we are out with our daughter, Missy Stubborn-Pants.  She WILL do it herself, even when it takes her a bit longer than most other kids because of her CP.  Stubborn in that case is a good thing (of course, it sometimes makes me crazy, like when it is time for school and she somehow thinks that just because she is determined to zip her own coat, that will change what time the bell rings!).  Anyway, I've been thinking about "old stuff," perhaps more so because I just had a birthday last week   ;o)  but I've recognized that one of the reasons that I love vintage stuff, and fixing up "old stuff" so much is because I see so much waste in our society. 

 I think it is time for us all to re-think our own "philosophy of old stuff" and begin to get a bit more comfortable with the treasures that can be discovered in all things "vintage."  Including Grandma and Grandpa!   Have a blessed Monday!  I'm off to the studio to fix up some more "old stuff" because it seems that there are at least a few folks out there in the world who like my style! 

Please visit my little Etsy shop at www.gossamerwingsstudio.etsy.com to see more of my "old stuff" that I have turned into beautiful "new stuff" - you won't be disappointed!    

Monday Morning Door of Opportunity

  There's just something about Monday morning that is very different from the rest of the week.  It is even different from Monday afternoon or Monday night.  It always feels like a brand-new beginning.  And it is wonderful to have that opportunity for new beginnings every single week!  I know that for many of us, the first of every new year brings a renewed sense of energy and optimism.  But I really need that chance to start all over again more than just once a year!  That's because I typically have so many goals for each day and each week, and I work so diligently to achieve my self-imposed expectations, that I rarely succeed.  Now, that is an issue that I struggle with constantly. But as a mom who has talked to lots of other moms, I know that I am not alone in this "expectation trap." 

Just the other day I was chatting with a friend who was expressing her feelings of guilt, frustration, sadness, and exhaustion as she attempted to figure out what she was doing "wrong" as a mother.  Sometimes she didn't say the right words, or she was too tired to cope with an argumentative teen-ager, or she felt that perhaps there should have been something, anything, that she could have done differently that would have made everything "right."  The guilt that we moms carry around in our pockets and in our hearts is enough to choke the proverbial horse!  Of course, when we are wrong . . . . we are wrong.  And when a mom makes a mistake, she should have the courage and the integrity to own up to it, admit it, and ask forgiveness.  But something that most of us moms completely lose sight of is the fact that, NO, mothers are NOT responsible for every thing that goes wrong in the world!

But just remember, that is exactly what our kids will try to tell us because they are kids.  Life is so much easier when we have someone to blame.  And mom is always the easiest target for all of that dumping of guilt.  Partly because we are so willing to take it and try to fix it.  But I guess I've lived long enough, and been a mom long enough, to know that we need to teach our children how to have the integrity and courage to own their own "junk."  So, if I did it, I'm responsible.  But if someone else "did it," then they need to take responsibility for it . . . . . whatever "it" is.  It's just way too easy to blame mom, because after all we know that "when mama's not happy, no one is happy."  However, sometimes "mama's not happy" because she is drowning in false guilt and trying to figure out how she became responsible for everyone and everything in the universe . . . . . and blame and guilt is a very heavy burden to carry around in those pretty pockets in mama's apron. 

So, I love Monday morning.  I get to walk through that door of opportunity and learn from my mistakes and become the woman that I know I can be.   I get another opportunity to teach my children to be strong, independent, and courageous people of integrity.  And take responsibility for their own junk!