I am not courageous today . . . . maybe tomorrow?

“It requires much more courage to stand and wait and still not lose heart or lose hope, to submit to the will of God, to give up opportunities for work and leave honors to others, and to be quiet, confident, and rejoicing while the busy multitude goes happily along their way.”

J.R. Miller
from Streams in the Desert

The other day I said to my husband, "If I could just figure out what God is leading me to do, I know I could just let go of all this anxiety and worry." The problem was, and is, that there is no shortage of things that COULD be done, or even things that SHOULD be done. The problem is that I simply don't know which one of the multitude of opportunities in front of me is the RIGHT one . . . . especially in light of the fact that it would also help if whatever it is that God wants me to do could help us pay the mortgage and feed the kids! But then, I must remind myself, God knows THAT, too.

So, it is beyond my human comprehension that this particular quote was chosen for this particular week. I'm clueless. All I know is that God has put on my heart the need to pursue the opportunities that have "accidentally" dropped in front of me, but where that will lead and how that will benefit my family financially, I don't have the slightest idea. And with my personality, and my determination not to ask anyone else to do for me what I really should be doing for myself . . . . well, waiting is really very, very difficult for me.

"Give up opportunities for work" is the part that is the hardest . . . not because I want to "work" for any particular award or recognition. It is just that "work" is part of the way I was brought up and "work" is something that we all should be doing everyday. Whether it be the "work" of caring for my home and family, or the "work" of teaching a Sunday School class, or the "work" of just doing the task at hand. So it is all very confusing to me, to suggest that it is actually OK for me to stop "working" so hard. Now where does that leave me?

Because I KNOW that we don't have to "work" in order for God to bless us or to accept us or to love us. But this whole business of "not working" is a pretty huge obstacle for me, especially right now, with the economy the way it is and so many of us struggling financially.

So, the way I see it today, through my faulty vision of God's plan and purpose, I would love to be still and wait, not to lose heart or to lose hope, to be courageous in the face of uncertainty, and to submit to the will of God . . . but since I'm still trying to figure out what God's will is for me in this situation, I find myself wandering around trying to figure out if there is even one more thing I am supposed to be "doing" to get there. And when I am fearful and wandering around clueless, it is really not possible to be courageous, brave, and hopeful. I'm not looking for honors, just honest "work" that honors my Heavenly Father. . . .and helps pay the bills.  I'm trying to relax, really!   ;o) 

Please visit our hostess this week for "In Other Words," Tami at The Next Step, where you will find the links to the other participants this week. Then leave your link and we'll come by and visit you to read your thoughts on this week's quote.

Comments

[Tami Boesiger]

It sounds like we are in the same boat, Nina. I ask God all the time, "What are we doing here?" I feel called, yet stuck at the same time. Do you know what I mean? And those things He asks me to do rarely pay off for my family monetarily, yet I KNOW He's asking me to do them. I trust God every day to supply what we need and He does over and above. I'm slowly learning to let go of MY expectations and definitions of success and trust His plan. It's not easy, I know, sister! Believe me, I feel your pain!