Perhaps I am the only one who is terrified of the Paper Monster. I definitely do not get the impression that anyone else that I know struggles to escape the grip of this devious little guy. Everyone else that I talk to never expresses any concern about having a monster around that just has a way of creeping into every nook and cranny and depositing piles and piles of paper. Big pieces of paper, little pieces of paper, ripped up envelopes, unpaid bills, phone numbers scribbled on the back of a napkin, notes from school and church, and all those annoying "things" that come in the mail that require me actually to DO something with them. I hate it.
I used to think it was the mail lady's fault. If she would just stop leaving so much junk in my mailbox, I thought that would solve the problem. So I just ignored the mailbox for several days, but when my husband discovered that there was a HUGE pile of mail out there, he went out and brought it in. Maybe it's his fault, then. Or perhaps it is the fault of the school and my girls' teachers. If they just would stop sending home so many papers and craft projects and notes reminding me that Friday is popcorn day, next Tuesday is field day, and Wednesday there will be a puppet show in the gymnasium at 6:30 p.m. I just can't sort it all out, especially when there is also a pile of homework that we not only have to keep track of (so it doesn't disappear under the bed or get stuck in the clothes dryer), but we actually have to DO something with it. Every day. I'm tired.
But that might be because I've been fighting this dastardly Paper Monster for so many years, that I've just about given up. Until today. I think I put the Paper Monster in his place. At least for a day or two. It took me all morning, but I sorted through all of the piles of papers on the kitchen counter and in the basket that I bought, just for tossing papers into when I don't know what else to do with them. I took them all out and put them on the dining room table. I think it is good to get your enemy right out there in the open so you can see what you are up against. That's when I almost decided to make a second cup of coffee and go sit down to watch the news. But I realized that would be even more discouraging than wading through that huge mountain of papers!
It was amazing . . . . . just going through that intimidating pile started to bring it all into perspective. That Paper Monster was not going to win this time! I was starting to get just a teeny bit annoyed that I had given that Monster and his piles all that power in my life. And you should see my house when I get angry annoyed! Everything in my site gets cleaned . . . . or painted, or thrown in the trash. Once I finished throwing out all the stuff that was just trash, that Paper Monster started to become much less scary. Whittled that thing right down to size. And that's when I remembered my "Philosophy of Piles."
I developed this philosophy many years ago when I had twice as many children to keep up with (but I WAS 20 years younger than I am now!). I had discovered that if you have a pile of papers, even if you have numerous piles of papers, deposited in every corner of your house by that nasty Paper Monster, you can safely throw just about everything in any given pile into the trash if it has been sitting there for 3 months. Now I realize that all of the really virtuous women out there would never let a piece of paper sit in a pile for three months. . . .but just in case you ever do, trust me, after three months whatever was on that piece of paper has already happened and you missed it (and you're still alive), or it has already happened and you somehow managed go to it, or it is completely out of date and a NEW piece of paper has been deposited on your kitchen counter by the Paper Monster.
So, if you happen to have a battle looming in your own life with the Paper Monster, just ignore him for three months and you will have completely conquered him . . . . . until you find the rest of the piles that haven't been there for three months yet, and you feel pressured into doing something with his daily gift of piles. After spending four hours sorting through those piles of papers, throwing out about 7/8 of everything that I had been afraid to look at for the past month, and making a few phone calls, I feel victorious! At least for today, I win. But now I have to make a few more phone calls to find out when the next Brownie meeting is going to be, and when sign-up for spring soccer is, and how much are swimming lessons going to cost . . . . but that's a battle with the Activity Monster, that I'm too tired to contemplate right now. Maybe tomorrow, if those monsters don't eat me up first.
Mom! That is too funny! I am your daughter for sure!!!!!!!!! I love you so very much and thank you so much for the smile on my face!
Posted by: Erin | February 15, 2010 at 02:21 PM
Oh how I understand this post. I am so glad I am not the only one who deals with that darn paper monster that threatens to eat me sometimes.
Posted by: Natalie | February 16, 2010 at 06:09 AM
Hi Sweetie! Thanks for stopping by in the midst of your busy day ;o) Kiss the babies for me and that will put a smile on my face. I love you too! ~~ Mom
Posted by: Nina Newton | February 16, 2010 at 10:03 AM
Good morning Natalie - thanks for your encouraging words . . . it is good to know that I am not fighting this battle alone ;o) ~~ Nina
Posted by: Nina Newton | February 16, 2010 at 10:03 AM