OK I'll admit it. I'm a control freak. There, I've said it. And I meant it. And I'm really weary of trying to defend myself for not being a messy housekeeper. What is it about being "too tidy" that deserves all this guilt??? One day I had a neighbor knock on my door, and when I opened the door, he took one peek over my shoulder and said, "Oh! I could never come in to to visit you . . . . your house is too clean!" And then he laughed. But I wondered, how would it work if I said to you that I couldn't come into your house because it was too dirty? We would never say that to someone, but for some reason it seemed perfectly normal to tell me that my house was too clean. Does that make me a crazy housewife?
Last time I checked, most of those ladies magazines you see while waiting in the check-out lane at the grocery store still have articles with titles like, "How to Clean Your Whole House in 20 Minutes," or "27 Ways to Keep Your Bathroom Smelling Fresh as a Daisy." Did I miss something? Perhaps I just haven't seen the magazines with articles that help us all figure out "How to Completely Trash Your House in a Half-Hour," or "99 Ideas for Shoveling More Junk into Your Garage." We all know how to do THAT! Houses just seem to take on a life of their own, and messes pop up overnight while we are sleeping. Especially if we have kids. So, "messy" is the normal, natural condition of most houses, apartments, condominiums, cottages, cabins, and tents. No matter where you live, or who you are. And for those who are comfortable with a lot of clutter (think of those TV shows about people who are hoarders of "stuff"), or even feel safer surrounded by tons of worthless junk . . . I'm good with that.
But I really don't see why I should be considered rather strange because I DON'T like to live like that. As if I am somehow denying someone their God-given right to be sloppy. So, I kind of feel better when the trash is taken out, the dishes are clean, the laundry is washed, the floors are swept, and the beds are made. And if that makes me a "control freak," then I guess if that's my worst fault, can't be all bad. But what, really, is a "control freak"? I truly have absolutely no interest in being in charge of anyone else's life. I've got enough to deal with in my own life, and can just barely manage to control all of the things in my life that I am responsible to control. So is "control" a bad thing?
Again, take a peek at some of the self-help books that reach out and grab you as you walk by. "Boundaries: How to say No Without Feeling Guilty." "Monster Lies: A Woman's Guide to Controlling Her Destiny." "Inner Peace for Busy Women: Balancing Work, Family, and Your Inner Life." Or how about, "Your Truest Self: Embracing the Woman You Are Meant to Be." Sounds to me like there are one or two women out there who wish they had a bit MORE control in their lives.
There's a big difference between a healthy desire to have our own lives and surroundings under control and running around like a busy-body telling everyone else how to live. Of course, there are never any guarantees. Life happens, most unexpectedly, in the blink of an eye. Without any warning, tragedy can strike. But that is very different from those things in life that can legitimately be "under control." I've always thought that it might be a good idea to control the things that CAN be controlled, so that when something comes along and smacks me upside the head that is completely out of my control, I will be better able to cope with it. I could be wrong about that, though.
But here's an example of what I mean: I can't control what might happen if I drive innocently through a green light and a crazy driver runs a red light and broadsides my car. But I CAN control whether or not I have insurance on my car. That might or might not help me. But at least I tried. Just like I can't control it if I get a call from school that my 1st grader is suddenly screaming in pain and curled up in a fetal position on the floor of the principal's office. But I CAN control whether or not I have gas in the car so that I can fly out the door, jump in the car, and get to the school in three minutes instead of 20 minutes because I had to stop for gas. Simple things like that.
Which gets me back to being a "control freak." I'm not responsible for keeping my house tidy and orderly because someone might stop by and think . . . . what? They might think I'm a "neat freak"? I no longer care about THAT! But the reason I am responsible to take care of my home (no matter what the neighbors or anyone else thinks) is because it is the home that God has provided for our family and I care for our possessions with respect. Just because. And also I feel some level of responsibility to care for our home and keep things tidy and orderly is so that no one dies. Let me explain. If you walk into my house and trip over a roller skate or slip on a banana peel, you might sue me. And even if you don't, you could get hurt and since you are probably someone that I like, I would want to see you in pain.
In addition, one thing that I HATE just about more than anything else in life is wasting time. Do you know how much time the average family wastes just looking for stuff? Or how much money does the average family spend on purchasing stuff that they already have but just can't find in the chaos of their home? I don't know, either, but if I was a betting person, I'd bet that it's a LOT! And the final reason that I try to keep my house "under control" (and frequently fail, but I do give a my best shot), is that it keeps me sane. Really? Wonder whose idea that was. Well, crazy or not, at least I'm not a "desperate" housewife, just a rather neurotic "neat freak" who believes that children and husbands' really are healthier and happier when there aren't bugs in their beds and critters in their corn flakes. Call me crazy. I'm used to it.
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