It has been really wonderful around here this week, after the holiday festivities, hustle and bustle, and all the fun of gift-giving. . . . . it's been kind of quiet. But that's the way we like it! After our little roller skating outing yesterday, the girls informed us that they were "in pain." What??? You are only 7 and 8 years old - well, Gracie will be nine next week, but really . . . . kids who are having aches and pains? Since they had never been roller skating before, I suppose they were using some of those strong, young muscles that they hadn't used much before, so they were complaining about a sore back, arms, legs, sides, and even armpits! They sounded like a couple of old grannies, talking over each other, to see who was in the most misery ;o) Oh, wait a minute . . . . I'm a grannie now, so that doesn't quite sound right!
Anyway, we just hung out at home today trying to get the Christmas stuff picked up and put away. I worked on a few projects in my studio and in here on the computer - so the rest of the work was kind of hit or miss, but eventually the girls got the ornaments off of the tree (with Daddy's help) and we were able to get the tree out of the house. Last I looked in the living room, there was still a bunch of stuff on the floor that needed to be picked up before we could run the vacuum. We'll see what it looks like when I get back out there! I did manage to get a few little corners of my world tidied up, and as I contemplated new beginnings I couldn't help but think about how time has a way of changing so many things.
I know that I can sometimes be rather philosophical (which comes kind of naturally to me, since that is what I studied once upon a time and taught for a few years!), but really I think that as we get older we do begin to see things differently than we did when we were younger. That suddenly came to me again this afternoon while chatting with our daughter-in-law. They live out west, in the Rocky Mountains, and we live back here in the Indiana. The rest of our family is mostly in Michigan. She was talking about how they really need to think about what it will mean now that they are getting a bit older (!!!) and their parents and grandparents are also getting old(er) . . . . and how difficult it is to be so far away from family. This is my kids talking about getting old!
Then I started thinking (in the midst of the girls fighting over who got to be the first to take an ornament off of the tree . . . . duh!!! . . . . . I think there are enough for BOTH of them) about the differences in what seems "important" now as opposed to what I thought was "important" say, twenty years ago. If you ever watch TV, which I don't do much just because there is just SO much more to do in life that I rarely have time), you will notice that so often relationships are portrayed in images of wealth, beauty, "sex appeal," and success. All of that is nice, but not always realistic. Especially as we all get older. All of the glamour, money, and professional success becomes meaningless if you don't have the one thing that every human being longs for: the unconditional love of family.
Of course, those of us who have religious and / or spiritual inclinations also include in that list of the necessities of life, a relationship with God. But even for those who do not recognize this as a significant aspect of life, there is still a deep longing and constant searching for the safety, stability, and peaceful presence of a loving family, either biological or otherwise. For many of us, that is found in our church community, or our neighborhoods, and sometimes it is found in our biological families. But biology is definitely NOT the determining factor, as evidenced by the overwhelming number of articles and blog posts that I have come across this past week describing the crazy, dysfunctional, and often painful experiences people have at the holidays when they feel obligated to spend time with family.
My observations are that, if we want relationships that are truly meaningful, non-toxic, healthy, safe, and stable, we have to invest a great deal in building those relationships. But we should always remember . . . . . it takes two to make a relationship work. Life is too short to be miserable in relationships that are hurtful. Take care of yourself, make that a commitment to yourself in this new year. You deserve it!
Recent Comments