Waiting*For*Grace

We're moving to My Red Thread Journey

Now that we have the Red Thread website fully functioning, we will be posting all new information over there.   All new book give-aways will be hosted from the Red Thread website, as well as an upcoming weekly blogging challenge.  Please join us at My Red Thread Journey and become a part of our new community of adoptive families.   You can share your personal adoption story, family photos, participate in discussions on the forum, and even buy and sell adoption-related products on our Market Place page.  Want to advertise your website?  We've even got an advertising program that we are working on. 

My Red Thread Journey is a brand-new website where we are building a community for adoptive families to support and encourage one another, as well as a place to share information about fund raising for our adoptions, travel information, agency recommendations, and so much more to help our families along their own red thread journey.  I hope you will join us soon!  I'll be announcing the winners of this month's book give-away soon on My Red Thread Journey!  Hope to see you there, Nina

One more day to sign up for the book give-away!

  Be sure to comment on one of the posts here on Waiting*for*Grace to be entered in the drawing for the book give-away for this month!  If you win, you will have a choice of either a children's book or an adult book.  The ones I've chosen for this month are Shaoey and Dot for the little ones, and The Lost Daughters of China for mom and dad.    Either of these books would make a great addition to your library!

We were at a birthday party this afternoon, and Annie was skipping and hopping around, giggling and being silly.  Until it was time to eat!  She ate all of her noodles and chicken parmesan, and a bowlful of chips and salsa . . . . . so we have Italian and Mexican food all at one party!   Within about ten minutes, she climbed up on my lap and fell sound asleep.  Do you ever feel like people are looking at you in curiosity when you are out with your children?  I think sometimes they seem so interested in our family because we are "older" parents, but perhaps it is because our children are obviously adopted.  I don't want my girls to feel "different,"  but we do live in a small town and there are no other Asian children.  So far, they don't seem to have noticed!

But those are the kinds of issues that adoptive families eventually have to face.  For us, adoption is just one of the ways that God makes families.  Biology doesn't necessarily guarantee a close family . . . . we have all experienced some type of broken relationship among biological family members.  I guess family is who wants to be family with us!  But I also believe that since we have committed our lives to these children, they need to know that although they are not the children of our physical existence, they are the children of our hearts, of our souls, children that we traveled to the other side of the world to bring into our hearts and our home . . . . and we love them and are connected to them just the same as our biological children. 

  So, I'm just thinking tonight about how other families deal with the questions surrounding adoption.  I've seen families who talk about it with their children and then just go on with life, just like they would with biological children.  They don't do anything special, just be a family.  I've also met families who choose to celebrate the differences, immerse their children in the culture and language of the birth country, and really provide a variety of experiences to help them learn about the culture of their birth.  Which way works the best?  I have no clue, so if you have any thoughts on this subject, I would love to hear from you. 

We have some dear friends who have three biological sons, and then they adopted a daughter from Korea.  She is a beautiful girl, and she is finishing college this year.  She seems to have no interest in knowing about her birth country, and considers herself just an "American girl."  The facts of her adoption does not appear to be an issue for her, and her parents and brothers don't seem to notice anymore either!  And since we all want to do what is best for our children, of course we think about these things as we make choices in our parenting every day.  Perhaps this will lead us to a discussion about those adoptees who feel that they have been deprived of their cultural heritage by being adopted.  I wish I could understand, so I have a better chance of getting it right as a mom! 

My Red Thread Journey is up and running

We've been busy working on the new website, My Red Thread Journey, and it's really coming together quite nicely.  I'm doing research online as often as I can to find resources for our Red Thread families, and I am hopeful that lots more families will join the community.  We're looking for your personal adoption stories, because everyone loves to hear about the journey of another family.  And we all really like to see your family pictures.  Or if you've recently read a great adoption book, stop by and share that with us on the forum or in a blog entry. 

I found a couple of great sites this week while I was out cruising around the blogosphere.  One is Our Chinese Daughters Foundation, and the other one is the website of Laura Christianson who is an author of adoption books.  Another site that you might find fascinating is Research China.  Brian Stuy does the research to locate our children's "finding ads" which "usually represent the earliest tangible proof of our children's lives," according to Brian, and "the photographs in the finding ads are typically taken earlier than any other photos families receive during the adoption process."  You can also find maps and photos of many of the orphanages in China, and it is fascinating to visit this site to see all that is available to families with children from China.

Don't forget about the book give-away for this month!  You can have your choice of either this beautiful book, Shaoey and Dot, which is perfect for your little ones, or the Lost Daughters of China, which is a fascinating look at the circumstances behind the situation in China in which baby girls are abandoned.  There is much current research on this topic available online right now, so I will be spending some time trying to discover more specific information so that I might share it with our Red Thread community.   Please stop by and join the Red Thread family, and help us provide support and encouragement to one another as our little ones grow up! 

Looking for Books on Adoption?

As I have been working on research for the website My Red Thread Journey, I've discovered so many wonderful resources for adoptive families!  Here is a great website for books on adoption, Tapestry Books.  It features books on just about every aspect of adoption, both domestic and international.  This is just the kind of resource network that I am including on the website, and I will be posting new information and links every day.  If you have ideas, stories, information, or other resources that you want to share with the adoption community, please join our community over at My Red Thread Journey, and start connecting with other adoptive families!

Wordless Wednesday: Carry on with your dream

Fragments of our Dreams

"Throughout the history of God's people as given to us in the Bible, we see that life is a test.  We have before us the option to trust God "no matter what," or to walk away from Him.  To walk away from God is to leave the fragments of our dreams in pieces on the floor, but to trust Him is to let God pick up the pieces and make us whole again.  When we choose to let Him make us whole again, he will make our lives more beautiful than before."   What I Learned from God While Quilting     Ruth McHaney Danner & Cristine Bolley

    Everywhere I look I see "fragments of my dreams in pieces on the floor."  Don't you?  The way I thought life was going to be, if I trusted Jesus as my Saviour and chose to live a life of obedience to God, is not the way it turned out at all.  But all along the way, I've been given choices to trust that God would "work all things together for good," or to turn my back and walk my own way when I didn't like what was happening.  And sometimes I have started down that path.  So have you, even if it is too difficult to admit.  We all have, because we are human beings and we have hearts that desire love and acceptance.  And when it doesn't appear that what's going on right now is getting us closer to our life-time goals, we often feel like giving up.  And that is the choice we get to make.

     Once, a long time ago, there was a young Christian woman who desired above all else to honor God with her life.  In her marriage, as a mother, and as a Christian woman in her church and community, her heart's desire was to do everyday those things that would please God.  And she knew that included honoring her husband, loving and caring for her children, and serving others in her church family and community.  So that is what she did, to the best of her ability, although many times she stumbled and fell flat on her face.  But she tried, and frequently failed, but often times her days truly did reflect her love and devotion to her God and to her family.  But still life did not turn out to be filled with the love of her husband and her children.  Her church family did not recognize or appreciate her gifts of service.  And many in her community seemed as if they were just waiting for her to take one wrong step so they could condemn and criticize.  For a while she gave up.  But it was only when she determined that, no matter what, she was going to honor God with her life and let Him take the broken pieces of her dreams and do with them as He would . . . . that her life became so much more beautiful than anything she could have accomplished on her own.

    Now, in the safety and security of a marriage to a gentle, loving husband and two beautiful daughters to raise for Jesus, this Christian woman can look around and still see some of the fragments of her dreams . . . but they are no longer lying in pieces on the floor, but they have been made into a beautiful patchwork called "Life," where all of the broken pieces have been stitched together into a tapestry of love, forgiveness, joy, and yes even in a few places there are still remnants of sorrow and pain.  Only God can take all of those broken fragments, all of those shattered dreams, and make them into something as beautiful as a patchwork quilt. 

     Think about it . . . . what amazing imagery for our lives!  Little bits and pieces of this and that, a scrap or two of something that might have otherwise just been tossed in the trash, a few stray snippets of ribbon or lace, leftover buttons from my button box, all lovingly stitched together with a plan and a purpose . . . . isn't that exactly what our lives are like?  Did I imagine so many years ago that I would be HERE, doing THIS, loving and serving these people in ways that I could not have even comprehended?  And yet, God has taken all of the confusion and all of my questions and uncertainty and created a life that does honor Him, even when I make mistakes and when I fail.  But giving up will NEVER get us where we want to be, and it will NEVER bring us to the beauty of God's masterpiece of our lives. 

     So, if you are right now in the middle of a pile of fragments of your dreams lying shattered on the floor . . . . . and I know some of you are, because you are human and that happens to all of us at one time or another along the journey of life . . . . now it NOT the time to give up.  Pick up those broken dreams and offer them to your Heavenly Father who has great and glorious plans for the beautiful patchwork tapestry of your life! 

    Please be sure to leave your name and link to your blog where you have shared your thoughts on this quote for In Other Words this week.  Can't wait to read YOUR story!  I'll be visiting you all throughout the upcoming days, and I hope to hear from you soon.  Have a blessed and joy-filled week!  Nina

    

    

 

New Book Give-Away Starting!

*  This is a sticky post that will stay at the top of my blog to remind you all of the book give-away.  Be sure to scroll down to see what's happening everyday at Waiting*for*Grace! 

This has to be one of the cutest adoption books I've found . . . it tells the story of Shaoey, one of the daughters of China, who is on her red thread journey to her family in America.  And she has the guidance of Dot, a sweet little ladybug.  Beautiful illustrations that are whimsical and delightful reinforce the joyful side of this story, while explaining some of the difficult aspects of the story of babies in Chinese orphanages.  It is a joy to read "Shaoey and Dot" to our girls, and you will love it too!  just comment on this post between now and April 15, and you'll be entered to win this beautiful book. 

Or you might want to choose this book instead . . . "The Lost Daughters of China."  For anyone who is interested in the cultural circumstances and the history of China's "one child" policy, this book offers excellent information that has been thoroughly researched by Karin Evans, an adoptive mom herself.   So, if you are building your collection of adoption books, this is definitely one you would want to include.  I thought it might be fun to offer you a choice, so take a minute to comment on this post, and you just might win one of these books. 

Also, if you pop on over to my new website, My Red Thread Journey, and sign up for all the fun, information, community, and support, I'll enter your name in the book give-away drawing TWICE!  Stop by for a visit . . . .we're just getting it up and running, but you can jump right in and share your pictures, your stories, your advice to other adoptive families.  I'll be looking for you over there!   Happy Tuesday ~ Nina

And the winner is . . . .

The winner of this  beautiful book is Julie!  Congratulations to Julie, and thank you to all who posted comments for this book give-away.  Julie is both a bio and an adoptive mom, and she has some fun stuff to share on her blog.  If you have a minute to pop on over, I know she would love to hear from you.  I wish I could send out one of these beautiful books to everyone to took the time to comment . . . . but you know, the budget!   Anyway, I'll be posting the next book give-away later today or tomorrow, so be sure to leave a comment.  I'm even thinking of offering a choice of a children's book or a "mommy and daddy" book.  There are so many wonderful books to help us along our way on our adoption journeys! 

I'm working diligently on getting the website up and running, and I'm looking for moms and dads who might want to participate by sharing their adoption stories or any other information that might be helpful to other adoptive parents.  I'll let you know when it is ready to roll, but for now, if you are interested in participating in a family-friendly forum and website for adoptive parents, shoot me an email at AngelBabiesBoutique@msn.com   and we'll get started.  Hope you all have a wonderful Monday . . . . . .   

Your Red Thread Journey: Where to begin?

I remember when we first decided to look into adoption . . . . and the feeling of being overwhelmed with decisions, information, and questions.  It takes a fair amount of determination and fortitude to travel the international adoption journey, but it is definitely worth all of the time, effort, energy, and investment of your life in this life-changing decision. 

As I have considered what I want to provide to potential adoptive parents through this blog, as well as through the website that I am working on, I have discovered several interesting things about the adoptive online community.  The thing that has been so striking to me as I've been researching available resources, is that so much of what is out there is outdated.  Now, I'm not suggesting that the information of agency websites is outdated, but many of the websites that have resource information for families have been abandoned.  Many of the articles and information is as old as 1996, some that I've found are from the early 2000s.  So, I will continue to research the various avenues for information that is up-to-date and begin posting it here as well as on MyRedThreadJourney.com   

Even though some of the information is from more than 10 years ago, it is still very informative and helpful to understand the history of the problems related to the population problem (and so-called "solution") in China.  Although my intention is for this to be a resource international adoptions from various countries, I will be starting with information about the situation in China. 

  So, let's start at the beginning!  If you are looking for information to begin your adoption journey, I suggest that you do as much research as possible.  However, it is easy to get flooded with information and get confused!  Here are a few links to begin to gather information:

China Adoption News features some beautiful photographs, book reviews, adoption poetry, and interesting news articles.  Although some of this information is from 2003, it is still helpful to understand some of the history of Chinese adoption.

On the website Gendercide, there is an article about female infanticide which is very informative in understanding the situation for baby girls in China.  Although this is not the reason that parents choose to adopt from China, it is certainly helpful to realize what our daughters' lives would have been like had they remained in China.

In a Chinese Orphanage is an article which describes the "dying rooms" in Chinese orphanages.  Although our Annie did not have an infectious disease, for which some children are placed in the "dying rooms" to prevent the spread of infectious diseases, she was left alone in a crib for most of the 2 1/2 years she was in an orphanage because she has mild CP and was unable to move independently.  There were simply not enough orphanage workers to care for children who cannot begin to care for themselves. 

Half the Sky Foundation is a wonderful organization that has been working in several Chinese provinces, providing pre-school programs, schools for older children, and a Big Sister program for older girls who remain in the orphanages.  "Mei Mei" is a beautiful book available from Half the Sky.

Visions of China is a brief article from CNN Specials that describes the population crisis and the gender inequality in China as a result of the "one son - two children" policy.

Hope's Heart Orphan Foundation explains Why China? on their website. 

International Adoption Resource  provides links for resources and information on international adoption from China and Guatemala, as well as general adoption information.

Adoption products features a variety of books on adoption. 

A Journey to China is one family's adoption journey blog, but it also provides links to a variety of resources for you as you begin your journey. 

This is just the beginning of my research . . . . there is so much more, but I'm working on putting it all into various categories so that you can find what you are looking for.  As I've been searching for information, I've found that some of the websites are so overwhelming that it can be rather intimidating!  Great information, and I'm hoping to bring much of it together here and hopefully present it in a way that will help you begin your Red Thread Journey. 

In Other Words: His Infinite Love

""We leave something incomplete everyday, whether it's an area of housework, school, work, friendship, ministry ~ because we are finite.""

~ from The Hidden Art of Homemaking by Edith Schaeffer~

I remember reading these words many years ago when I was a young mother.  And I am pleased to see that some of the moms of this generation have discovered Edith Schaeffer.  When I first found the writings of Edith Schaeffer, I was a young mom with four children, struggling to "do it all."  Because that is what I thought was expected of me.  Well, not that God expected it of me, but it seemed that the culture all around me expected me to be able to be everything to everyone.  And even though I knew in my head that only God is infinite, I still found myself everyday trying and trying to get it all done.  And of course I failed.

So, when I read her words, it was such a joyful experience!  It seemed to lift that heavy burden of responsibility for the happiness of the world right off of my shoulders.  But the struggle continued, because I was still in a world where there is, in fact, the unspoken belief that moms are responsible for the happiness of everyone in their family.  And I took that responsibility very seriously.  The problem is, that when we try to "rescue" everyone from their own choices and decisions, because we believe that is our job as the mom, we limit the opportunities that they have to learn from God.  Of course, I did it all with the best of intentions and motives . . . . . but doing it all and doing it all perfectly is not my responsibility, but God's

Eventually I realized that continuing on that path of striving to "do it all," in my relationships, in my home, in my ministry, in my community, left me completely empty.  It was time to re-evaluate the messages I had been hearing and believing.  This quote helps keep me focused on balance:  my ministry IS my home and family, I DO have a responsibility to my friends, my church, my community, and I AM expected to be all the God wants me to be.  But when I get in the way, and think I am important enough to keep the whole world happy, then we've all got a problem! 

Knowing that I'm not going to get it all done, no matter how hard I try, because I am finite and God is infinite, is such a liberating truth.  If you have a chance to read any of Mrs. Schaeffer's other books, she offers such godly, gracious, and encouraging words.  She had such a heart for missions, and along with her husband, contributed such a significant voice to the theological discussion of the past 35 years.  Read more if you can!