I've never been able to explain it . . . . but there is just something about the sunshine, a fresh spring breeze, and the beauty of creation on a day like today that always makes me want to wash windows. It just somehow makes me feel hopeful, optimistic, and generally peaceful to see freshly washed windows sparkling in the sunshine. The problem is, that I then begin to see all of the OTHER projects that need my attention, and if I'm not careful, I will spend my whole day washing everything in sight. Including the kids (and the dog, if we had one!).
It suddenly becomes so obvious that the deck needs to be washed down, the flower beds need to be raked, the cob webs and other junk that has accumulated up under the eaves . . . . all need to be taken care of. And since I've always believed that I am, in fact, Wonder Woman, I once again become delusional and think that I can get it all done - today. You would think that at my age, I would have come to the realization that I am NOT Wonder Woman, and it probably will take me more than one afternoon to get all of this taken care of. But I can dream, can't I? Except that''s not particularly productive, so instead of thinking about all of the things I SHOULD be doing, I decided to take a break, get another cup of coffee and make a list. I know, I know . . . . I always put way too many things on my list, and then when I get everything on the list accomplished except for that one, last thing, I am disappointed. I feel like I wasted a perfectly gorgeous spring day because I didn't get that one thing finished.
I think I've already told you that I'm neurotic, but so is everyone else in one way or another . . . . so maybe you don't wash windows in the sunshine, but I'll bet there is something else that you do that never even crosses my mind. That's OK, because at least we aren't psychotic, at least that's what the therapist always said ;o) So, now I have my list and I have to talk to myself quite sternly about getting discouraged because the list is so long. Let's divide that list up and see if I can spread those tasks out over the next few weeks. You know, painting and planting a garden actually do take more than a few minutes, even for the real Wonder Woman.
This is such a joyful time of year! Easter has always been my favorite holiday . . . . . without all of the hustle and bustle of the Christmas holiday, I can actually focus on the real significance of this celebration. Remembering the gift of salvation that is free for everyone who simply accepts that gift. And the overwhelming sense of gratitude for God's mercy, grace, and forgiveness makes every day a celebration of lfe. Even during the tough times of struggle. That's why I'm working on a Gratitude Journal - it is a tangible expression of my heart-felt thankfulness for everything . . . . everything . . . . including the dark and difficult times. Because I have lived long enough to see how God can take the most painful, wasted, and damaged years of my life and make something truly beautiful of it all for His glory.
So this time the journal will be all about the brokenness, the shattered dreams, the confusion, the hopelessness, and the dark places that we usually don't discuss, even in our personal journals. This is my Journal Through the Darkness. So that I can remember to be thankful, even for the pain and heartbreak. Want to join me? I'll be posting pictures here of my progress, and I would love to hear from you if you want to take this journey together. Have a great Wednesday, Nina