A thankful heart . . . . . it is so easy to focus on the difficulties in life, and become distracted with all of the struggles, that we lose a spirt of thankfulness. Life certainly has a way of enticing us to believe that what is happening right here, right now is the only reality we have to hold on to. And that is very frequently frightening! I have observed throughout my life the devastation of holding on to the negative events in life and the times that people have hurt us. And when we cling so tightly to our anger, there is simply no room left over for peace. I know there are reasons for us to be hurt and angry . . . . very legitimate reasons . . . . . but, no matter how real the pain, holding it so tightly in our heart and mind will only poison all the other wonderful aspects of life.
Unfortunately, I witnessed this in the life of my mother. She truly did have a very difficult life, and of course, as a young child and even as a young adult, I had no idea what that meant. I didn't take the time or have enough room in my heart (because of my own pain and sadness) to try to understand why she was so angry. All I knew was that she was quick to lash out verbally at everyone who got within earshot! Including the mailman, the waitress at the local diner, the dog, the neighbors, and even people on the TV that annoyed her. But it was particularly painful that she seemed to feel that she needed to "protect" herself from my brother and me.
One day, as she was recounting to me all of the "wrongs" that she had suffered at hands one of her few remaining friends, she said, "I've learned that I have to hurt the other person before they hurt me." That broke my heart, especially when I realized that she was applying that same "rule" to me. I told her, "But mom, I'm your daughter, and I'm NOT going to hurt you." Well, apparently I HAD hurt her (of course, I was a selfish kid and had done and said many things to hurt her!) and she had held on to every little offense for so many years, that she simply did not know any other way to respond to her pain. So I heard the mean-spirited words, my children heard the cruel remarks, and eventually it destroyed relationships. But that is history . . . . .
I am sad that my mother lived so much of her life with such pain and anger. But I eventually had to acknowledge that there were reasons that it happened. And I also had to understand that, if I didn't want to go down that same destructive pathway, I would have to learn from her sadness and make a different choice. Since I'm kind of a boring, no-drama kind of person ;o) I absolutely avoid situations that make me frustrated, angry, and negative . . . . . whenever possible! But when those circumstances cannot be prevented, I have learned that there is only one way to have peace in my heart. So, even in the midst of uncertainty and difficulties, I'm really trying to focus on the positives in my life, and be thankful for what I HAVE and not dwell on what I DON'T have.
Life will never be perfect, but when we take a minute to count our blessings we will discover that the beauty of today far outshines all of the sadness we see all around. Some days that is much more difficult than others, but I think it is good to practice being thankful . . . . then when it is really hard to find that place of peace, at least we will have memories of all of our treasures and blessings. It's a step in the right direction!
Please visit KariJo at In Love W.I.T.H. Jesus today to find the links to all the other IOW participants this week . . . . . and have a great Tuesday, counting your blessings!
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