John 14:27 NASB
I try not to listen to the news very much. But it is kind of hard to escape the constant drum beat of confusion and chaos that seems to be surrounding us everywhere we go. Actually, I do like to know what is going on in the world and not just hide my head and pretend that everything is rosey when it actually isn't. That's one way to be really surprised when reality finally catches up with you! But, I try not to focus on the competing voices, trying to convince me that "this is a crisis," or frighten me with talk of disaster. I will admit, though, that trying to focus on the positive, peaceful aspects of life can be difficult on most days, and especially during a time of economic struggle, political turmoil, and national confusion.
So, it is always good to be reminded that true peace only comes from our Heavenly Father through the grace that He has blessed us with in the Person of His Son, the Lord Jesus. It is easy to be afraid, and it is natural to be concerned about our family in the face of a world-wide epidemic of the H1N1 flu virus. And it is normal to experience some anxiety over the financial circumstances that many of us are facing. But I continue to try to stay focused on the positive, and not allow myself to slide into the "slough of despond" as John Bunyan warns us through the journey of Pilgrim. We are all susceptible of slipping off the edge of that cliff!
Today I am finally able to sit down and actually update my blog. It has been over a month since I've had the time, energy, or interest. That is because I allowed myself to become bogged down and frustrated after a year and a half of trying to be "Wonder Woman." Again. You would think that I would have figured this out by now . . . . after all, I'm not exactly a "spring chicken." ;o) I've been a mom for a long time - my oldest daughter is now 36 years old, and my youngest daughter just turned 7 years old last Friday. But I am right where I want to be . . . . now.
I don't know how you do it, all of you moms who are able to have a career outside of your home, and still handle everything that comes along with taking care of a family. I just can't do it . . . . I've tried . . . . and failed miserably. All of my adult life, my home and family have been the focus of my heart and mind. I love being the traditional, stay-at-home mom. But for the past year and a half I have had to hold a JOB outside of my home, and to put it mildly . . . .well, I'm a GREAT worker, but not such a great employee. What I mean by that is to say that I always arrived for work on time (sometimes even early!) and did the work that was expected of me. I worked diligently to learn the skills necessary to do my job well, and I got along famously with my co-workers. I liked my boss, I organized drawers and cupboards, cleaned up around the office and was completely honest and trustworthy. But I hated being there!
Not because it was a bad place to be, but because I just really wanted to BE HOME, doing all of the things that needed my attention. And as the days, weeks, and months went by, I became so discouraged that I could barely function. Well, now that I no longer have a JOB (because the bank branch was closed) - I am WORKING every day on the "stuff" that needs to be taken care of, and I am SO MUCH happier! My kiddos and hubby are happy, too, because mom isn't running out the door every morning, no matter what they need. I'm home where I belong, where I love to be, and actually working harder than I did in that office!
So, all of that is to say that I have struggled a great deal over the past year with finding peace. Even though I know in my head the answer, it was very difficult to get past the discouragement to find that place of peace. I tried, I really did, but I just don't do well when I am away from home for long periods of time. I guess I just need to remember that God knows each one of us intimately, and He knows what we need, and what will bring us joy. I am grateful that I am now able to stay home, and have time for the things in life that are important to me. Things like participating in our weekly IOW project! I'm glad to be back, and I truly appreciate the reminder that I will never find peace in the things of the world, but only in the safety and security of my relationship with my Lord.
Please stop by and visit Patricia at "Typing One-Handed" today to find links to all of the other IOW posts this week.