If you are a mom or a dad, I am sure you have come to realize this truth about your children. You see, all children are born believing that they, in fact, ARE the center of the universe. Of course, when we first bring our little darlings home from the hospital, they really are the center of OUR universe. But then our precious little bundle of joy grows from a cuddly, cooing infant to a busy baby crawling around poking his or her tiny nose into everything in sight. Including the dog's dish, the toilet, and a mud puddle. And they promptly insert whatever is found right into that sweet little mouth. Or up the nose or in the ears, or any other body crevice that can be reached. What a joy! And as parents we are so proud of our little angel, especially when they do something so amazing as clap their hands and giggle for the first time.
Then one day, you suddenly discover that your sweet, innocent baby has turned into a testy toddler. Favorite words: NO! MINE! I DO IT MYSELF! Alright, alright, alright . . . . do it yourself, then! Everything becomes a battle of wits in your attempts to keep your little darling safe, clean, and alive, while he or she seems absolutely determined not only to self-destruct, but to bring you along for the ride. Have you ever wandered in a daze into your laundry room, burst out bawling, and asked God to show you what you were doing wrong? I mean, how could this tiny little body do so much, so fast, to make you so completely crazy??? And when you try to figure out WHY little Johnny would stuff a whole box of tissues into the heat register, nothing seems to come to you. And was that the cat I just heard screeching as Susie flushed the toilet?
If you survive the toddler years, you are delighted to discover that for a few years, at least, most children "mellow out." Well, that doesn't mean they become any less self-centered and demanding, but they are between the temper tantrums and the hormones. But during these years, mom and dad, you really need to work on their understanding of how the world really operates! Left to their own devices, most children believe that they are the only ones in the universe who want anything, need anything, or deserve anything. This is natural. Human nature, and all. It is a rather tricky business convincing them otherwise; their capacity to comprehend that the rest of the people in the world are just as important as them. It's a difficult task to convince them of reality, but someone's got to do it.
Sadly, for our children and for our families, if we are just too busy to help them learn to live in the real world, where they are not going to get their own way all the time, our children grow up to be disillusioned and unhappy when things happen that prevent them from getting everything they want in life. Things like the current recession. I wonder how many families are struggling, trying to explain to their children that they can't have all those new toys and gadgets that "everyone else" has. I just remind myself that I grew up poor, had to learn to do without, was disappointed many times, but it didn't kill me. Things like that can make our children stronger, more independent, and compassionate people. If we can just help them understand that it is make-believe to think that they are the center of the universe. It just doesn't work that way. And they'll be a lot happier in life the sooner they learn that little lesson in life.
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