Working on this altered book has really been inspirational for me. It started out as just a simple project for the Artella Weekly Creativity Challenge. But focusing on all the things in my life for which I am grateful, has helped me readjust my thinking. We all have things in our life that are sad, or painful, or heart breaking, or even tragic. And we can spend our entire lives dwelling on all of that stuff that makes us angry or depressed. My mother was like that.
For the last 15 years of her life, she just gave up on living. She had been hurt so much, rejected and abandoned, abused and neglected, that she became very angry and bitter. In turn, she decided that her philosophy in life would be, "I'll hurt you before you can hurt me." She even projected that anger towards me, and it took me a long time to realize that her unkind words and behaviour were really not about me at all. It was hard to watch her self-destruct through her own selfishness and bitterness. And in the end, she died, I think, just to have one last chance to hurt someone. How sad is that? I wish I could have in some way helped her see the blessings she had, even in the midst of the pain and loss, but she chose anger instead.
So, I determined many years ago that I would not allow the sadness to overtake my life, but try my best to remind myself daily of all of my blessings. I wish she could have been here to welcome our girls when they came home from China. I wish she could have been here to be part of our lives for a few more years. But, I will not allow the choices of the past to destroy my future. So, this book has been a wonderful opportunity to remember, and focus, on all of the blessings that are in my life right now . . . . and remember some of the gifts that have been in my life, even though they may not be part of my life today. This creative journey has been a learning and growing experience, and I trust I will continue to receive God's blessings and grace every day . . . . . because I can make lots more books for all of His gifts! Have a wonderful Friday, and a blessed weekend, Nina
ps . . . that really is a picture of my house in the mountains. I just cut it out and put it on a few mountains that I painted . . . . and then later popped in a sun, and only later realized that the sun is shining on the shadowed side of the mountains. Oh well, I guess I'm not perfect after all!
pps If you want to vote for me this week, I'm currently in 1st place in the Artella Weekly Creativity Challenge, just click on the link and cast your vote for my altered book. Thanks!